Canadian Citizenship Interview

An immigrant from China is applying for citizenship in Canada.She is to be interviewed by a Canadian immigration officer. She does not speak English well and knows nothing about Canada. Therefore, she invited a special translator to help her in her interview.
 
Officer: Do you know who was the first Prime Minister of Canada?
 
Translator: ( in Cantonese) The officer asked you, Where do you usually go if you want to eat hamburger?
 
Lady: (answered to the officer) Oh..... McDonald (the first minister of Canada is Sir John MacDonald.)
 
The officer nodded his head and then asked the second question.
 
Officer: Could you tell me which province you're living in now?
 
Translator: (in Cantonese) The officer just asked you, What is the dirtiest thing in your nose?
 
Lady: (replied to the officer in Cantonese) Ah..... Bay See (which means nose dirt in Chinese) 

                  (The man lives in the province of British Columbia, commonly known as B.C.)
 
The officer added a current affair question, "Who is the prime minister of Canada now?"
 
The translator speaks in Cantonese, "What's that part of the face below your lips and above your neck?" 
 
Lady replied "Har Par".  (which means chin in Cantonese) (The current prime minister of Canada is Prime Minister Stephen Harper)

The officer nodded his head again and asked the final question.
 
Officer: Do you know what your privilege is when you become Canadian?
 
Translator: (in Cantonese) The officer asked you, How does a dog sounds like when it barks?
 
Lady: (demonstrated the sound to the officer)... Woe, Woe. (Vote, Vote. One of the privileges of a Canadian is the right to vote.)
 
The officer told the lady that all the questions were answered correctly, shook hands with her and congratulated her that she had passed the interview to be a Canadian citizen

Apple Family

Husband of the Year

Husband of the year awards

The honourable mention goes to:

The  United Kingdom

followed closely by...
The   United States of America

and then...

Poland 

 but 3rd Place must go to...

Greece

it was very close but the runner up prize

was awarded to....

Serbia

 

 but the winner of the husband/partner of the  !year is:

Ireland. Ya gotta love the Irish.

The Irish are true romantics, look, he's even

holding her hand...

Woman has Man  in it; Mrs. has Mr. in it; Female has Male  in it; She has He  in it; Madam has Adam in it; Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now.. .. I never looked at it this way before: Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN? MENtal illness ! MENstrual cramps MENtal  breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist AND When we have REAL trouble, it's a.. HISterectomy. Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them.... Remember You Don't Stop Laughing Because You Grow Old, You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing

 
"If doing something makes you worried, then it must be a wrong thing. If it makes you happy, then you must have done the right thing. What others say is really not important

GRANDPARENT'S Telephone ANSWERING MACHINE

Good morning .... At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep.    beeeeeppp ...

 If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.

 If you need us to stay with the children, press 2 

If you want to borrow the car, press 3 

 If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4 

 If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5

If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6

If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7

If you want to come to eat here, press 8

If you need money, dial 9

If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theater, start talking ... we are listening !!!!!!!!!!!"