In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks,
" Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your mother?"
The little girl says,
"Forty."
The teacher says,
"Yes, your mother could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can my big sister get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old is your sister?"
The little girl answers,
"Nineteen."
The teacher says,
"Oh my yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."
The little girl asks,
"Can I get pregnant?"
The teacher asks,
"How old are you?"
The little girl says,
"I'm seven years ! ! old."
The teacher says,
"No, you can't get pregnant."
The little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says,
"See, I told you we had nothing to worry about."
Monday, August 27, 2007
Inspiring Thoughts
1. Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind .
2. You can't change the past,But you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
3. Love...and you shall be loved.
4. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
5. All people smile in the same language.
6. Everyone needs to be loved...Especially when they do not deserve it. *
7. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity.
8. Laughter is God's sunshine.
9. Everyone has beauty, but not everyone sees it.*
10. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.
11. Thank God for what you have,TRUST GOD for what you need.
12. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, You have no
today to be thankful for.
13. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks within.
14. The choice you make today, will usually affect tomorrow.
15. Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul .
16. Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears.
17. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.
18. Harsh words break no bones, but they do break hearts .
19. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.
20. We take for granted the things, that we should be giving thanks for.
21. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
22. Happiness is enhanced by others, but does not depend upon others.
23.. For every minute you are angry with someone,You lose 60 seconds of happiness that you
can never get back.
24. Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.
2. You can't change the past,But you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.
3. Love...and you shall be loved.
4. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
5. All people smile in the same language.
6. Everyone needs to be loved...Especially when they do not deserve it. *
7. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity.
8. Laughter is God's sunshine.
9. Everyone has beauty, but not everyone sees it.*
10. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.
11. Thank God for what you have,TRUST GOD for what you need.
12. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, You have no
today to be thankful for.
13. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks within.
14. The choice you make today, will usually affect tomorrow.
15. Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul .
16. Patience is the ability to idle your motor, when you feel like stripping your gears.
17. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.
18. Harsh words break no bones, but they do break hearts .
19. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.
20. We take for granted the things, that we should be giving thanks for.
21. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
22. Happiness is enhanced by others, but does not depend upon others.
23.. For every minute you are angry with someone,You lose 60 seconds of happiness that you
can never get back.
24. Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Maths
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter,
I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this,
I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this,
I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."
Hot And Cold
AN ELDERLY MARRIED COUPLE SCHEDULED THEIR ANNUAL MEDICAL EXAMINATION ON THE SAME DAY SO THEY COULD TRAVEL TOGETHER. AFTER THE EXAMINATION, THE DOCTOR THEN SAID TO THE ELDERLY MAN; "YOU APPEAR TO BE IN GOOD HEALTH. DO YOU HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONCERNS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH ME?" "IN FACT, I DO ", SAID THE MAN. "AFTER I HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME, I AM USUALLY HOT AND SWEATY. AND THEN, AFTER HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE THE SECOND TIME, I AM USUALLY COLD AND CHILLY." "THIS IS VERY INTERESTING ", REPLIED THE DOCTOR. "LET ME DO SOME RESEARCH AND GET BACK TO YOU." AFTER EXAMINING THE ELDERLY LADY, THE DOCTOR SAID: "EVERYTHING APPEARS TO BE FINE. DO YOU HAVE ANY MEDICAL CONCERNS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH ME?" THE LADY REPLIED THAT SHE HAD NO QUESTIONS NOR CONCERNS. THE DOCTOR THEN ASKED; "YOUR HUSBAND HAD AN UNUSUAL CONCERN. HE CLAIMS THAT HE IS USUALLY HOT AND SWEATY AFTER HAVING SEX THE FIRST TIME WITH YOU AND THEN COLD AND CHILLY AFTER THE SECOND TIME. DO YOU KNOW WHY?" "OH THAT OLD COOT!" SHE REPLIED. "THAT'S BECAUSE THE FIRST TIME IS USUALLY IN JULY AND THE SECOND TIME IS USUALLY IN DECEMBER!"
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