A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work .
Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home.
She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already.
The little Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Man says: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man: "OK, how much?" Boy: "$1,000."
A few weeks later it happened again ,and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says:"$5,000."
The Man says: "Fine, I will buy them."
A few days later, the Father says to the boy:
"Grab your ball and boots, let's go outside and have a game."
The Boy says: "I can't, I sold them for $ 6,000."
The Father says: "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... $ 6,000 is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your "SINS."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Priest says: "Don't start that again!"
THIS IS MY CHURCH, NOT YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE !
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Classis Joke
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up .
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
"How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy," and that's why I'm in such good shape." I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." "Have a glass of vino, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?" "
Who said my Dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian and he's a golfer too."
"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"
" Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it.
"Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"
" Who said he wanted to?"
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
"How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy," and that's why I'm in such good shape." I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." "Have a glass of vino, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?" "
Who said my Dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian and he's a golfer too."
"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"
" Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it.
"Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"
" Who said he wanted to?"
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Store that sell Husband
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
'Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Report Card !
A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.......
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real happiness with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the this happiness
Dad, I'm pregnant.... and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days, is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".
Hands still trembling, and slight pain in the chest her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real happiness with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the this happiness
Dad, I'm pregnant.... and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days, is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".
Hands still trembling, and slight pain in the chest her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!
Mr Bean Line
1) BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL:
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
the answer is 6!!
3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
4) AT AN ATM MACHINE:
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!
5) Marriage:
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.
6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND:
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER:
Mr. Bean:(crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
9) Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Love,Wealth ,Success
Truly great story........................ do we have love for others just like God who loved us before we loved him???
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat." "Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion:
"Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
.
MY WISH FOR YOU...
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.
You have two choices right now:
1. Spread this message and
2. Invite love by sharing this story with all the people you care about.
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat." "Is the man of the house home?", they asked.
"No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.
"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in"
"We do not go into a House together," they replied.
"Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"
Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion:
"Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"
"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.
"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, t he lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"
.
MY WISH FOR YOU...
-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.
You have two choices right now:
1. Spread this message and
2. Invite love by sharing this story with all the people you care about.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Kan Pei
Once there was a Chinese wedding dinner.
The dinner occupied only half the restaurant.
The other half was occupied by some American tourists.
As the wedding Chinese couples hop from table to table to toast the guests,
the cheers of " KAN PEI .. " (happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder.
One American gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him." KAN PEI ...!" " KAN .... PEI"....!!!" The cheers continued.
Finally, the irritated American couldn't take it anymore. He stood up on his chair and shouted."IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR YOU...!"
The dinner occupied only half the restaurant.
The other half was occupied by some American tourists.
As the wedding Chinese couples hop from table to table to toast the guests,
the cheers of " KAN PEI .. " (happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder.
One American gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him." KAN PEI ...!" " KAN .... PEI"....!!!" The cheers continued.
Finally, the irritated American couldn't take it anymore. He stood up on his chair and shouted."IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR YOU...!"
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Say Cheese
You have just made it through your wedding ceremony and step out onto the church steps.
The photographer raises his camera.
Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together. You and your new husband stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.
The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.
Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....
Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!
The photographer raises his camera.
Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together. You and your new husband stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.
The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.
Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....
Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Businessman and Fisherman
Here is the differences between a businessman and fisherman..............
So....u can decide...to be a businessman or to be a fisherman........,
What do you really hope to achieve in life?
Read this story and you may find that what you are always hoping to achieve,you may be already have it.
There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught a quite number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy.
The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"
The fisherman reply; "Oh, just a short while."
"Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more? The businessman was astonished.
The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family?" he says.
The businessman then asked: "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"
The fisherman reply; "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and carefree."
The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors.At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."
The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take? "
The businessman reply: "About 15 to 20 years"
The fisherman continued, "And after that?"
The businessman laugh heartily, "After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!!"
The fisherman ask, "And after that?"
The businessman says "After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!! "
The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now??"
So, what does one really hope to achieve in life, do we really need to work so hard in life ? What do you hope to accomplish in the end ?
So....u can decide...to be a businessman or to be a fisherman........,
What do you really hope to achieve in life?
Read this story and you may find that what you are always hoping to achieve,you may be already have it.
There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught a quite number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy.
The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"
The fisherman reply; "Oh, just a short while."
"Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more? The businessman was astonished.
The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family?" he says.
The businessman then asked: "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"
The fisherman reply; "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and carefree."
The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors.At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."
The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take? "
The businessman reply: "About 15 to 20 years"
The fisherman continued, "And after that?"
The businessman laugh heartily, "After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!!"
The fisherman ask, "And after that?"
The businessman says "After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!! "
The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now??"
So, what does one really hope to achieve in life, do we really need to work so hard in life ? What do you hope to accomplish in the end ?
6 reasons not to mess with children
1.A little girl : was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl : replied, "Then you ask him".
2.A Kindergarten teacher : was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like. Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
3.A Sunday school teacher : was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy : (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4.One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5.The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
6.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching"
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl : replied, "Then you ask him".
2.A Kindergarten teacher : was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like. Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
3.A Sunday school teacher : was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy : (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4.One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5.The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
6.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching"
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too
I 've sent you an ANGEL......
Heaven has sent you an Angel., You may keep her.....
Heaven didn't want her, so they sent her to me.
I don't want her so, I'm sending her to you !
Pleeeeeeease 'Keep Her'
Do the world a favour. Don't pass her on
Letter To God
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
**************
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
**************
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
**************
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
**************
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
**************
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Pass Around- You will see why as you read..
Breakfast at McDonald's
This is what I receive from my friend and I would like you to share it..
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, " Smile. "
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible " dirty body " smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was " smiling " .
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, " Good day " as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.
He said, " Coffee is all Miss " because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.
That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, " Thank you. "
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, " I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope. "
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, " That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope. "
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not church goers, but we are believers.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in " my project " and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, " Can I share this? "
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on
the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE
PEOPLE.
There is an Angel sent to watch over you.
In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over.
An Angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head.
To handle others, use your heart.
God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
Send it back, you'll see why !
A Box of gold
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
With a secret inside
that has never been told
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This box is priceless
but as I see
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The treasure inside is
precious to me
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today I share this
treasure with thee
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's the treasure of
friendship you've
given me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If this comes back to you
then you'll have a friend
for life but, if this
becomes deleted, you are
not a friend.
Send this to everyone you
consider a friend!
This is a magic frog.
It will grant you one wish and only one wish,
that is, if you decide to send this to others. You can wish for anything.
This is what I receive from my friend and I would like you to share it..
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!):
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, " Smile. "
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible " dirty body " smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was " smiling " .
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.
He said, " Good day " as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.
He said, " Coffee is all Miss " because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.
That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, " Thank you. "
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, " I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope. "
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, " That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope. "
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not church goers, but we are believers.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in " my project " and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, " Can I share this? "
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on
the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE
PEOPLE.
There is an Angel sent to watch over you.
In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched over.
An Angel wrote:
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
To handle yourself, use your head.
To handle others, use your heart.
God Gives every bird it's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
Send it back, you'll see why !
A Box of gold
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
With a secret inside
that has never been told
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This box is priceless
but as I see
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The treasure inside is
precious to me
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today I share this
treasure with thee
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It's the treasure of
friendship you've
given me.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
If this comes back to you
then you'll have a friend
for life but, if this
becomes deleted, you are
not a friend.
Send this to everyone you
consider a friend!
This is a magic frog.
It will grant you one wish and only one wish,
that is, if you decide to send this to others. You can wish for anything.
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