Friday, January 11, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Kan Pei
Once there was a Chinese wedding dinner.
The dinner occupied only half the restaurant.
The other half was occupied by some American tourists.
As the wedding Chinese couples hop from table to table to toast the guests,
the cheers of " KAN PEI .. " (happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder.
One American gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him." KAN PEI ...!" " KAN .... PEI"....!!!" The cheers continued.
Finally, the irritated American couldn't take it anymore. He stood up on his chair and shouted."IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR YOU...!"
The dinner occupied only half the restaurant.
The other half was occupied by some American tourists.
As the wedding Chinese couples hop from table to table to toast the guests,
the cheers of " KAN PEI .. " (happy & joyous drinking) gets louder and louder.
One American gets more and more irritated as the couple get closer to him." KAN PEI ...!" " KAN .... PEI"....!!!" The cheers continued.
Finally, the irritated American couldn't take it anymore. He stood up on his chair and shouted."IF YOU CAN'T PAY, THEN LET ME PAY FOR YOU...!"
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Say Cheese
You have just made it through your wedding ceremony and step out onto the church steps.
The photographer raises his camera.
Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together. You and your new husband stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.
The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.
Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....
Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!
The photographer raises his camera.
Following your family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together. You and your new husband stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and relatives eagerly wait.
The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky.
Not a dry eye in the house, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity....
Wedding Gown $2,500.
Photographer $2,000
Having 'the twins' pop out and say CHEESE in front of your family and friends...
PRICELESS!!!!!
Monday, January 7, 2008
Businessman and Fisherman
Here is the differences between a businessman and fisherman..............
So....u can decide...to be a businessman or to be a fisherman........,
What do you really hope to achieve in life?
Read this story and you may find that what you are always hoping to achieve,you may be already have it.
There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught a quite number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy.
The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"
The fisherman reply; "Oh, just a short while."
"Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more? The businessman was astonished.
The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family?" he says.
The businessman then asked: "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"
The fisherman reply; "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and carefree."
The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors.At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."
The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take? "
The businessman reply: "About 15 to 20 years"
The fisherman continued, "And after that?"
The businessman laugh heartily, "After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!!"
The fisherman ask, "And after that?"
The businessman says "After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!! "
The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now??"
So, what does one really hope to achieve in life, do we really need to work so hard in life ? What do you hope to accomplish in the end ?
So....u can decide...to be a businessman or to be a fisherman........,
What do you really hope to achieve in life?
Read this story and you may find that what you are always hoping to achieve,you may be already have it.
There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore and noticed that the fisherman has caught a quite number of big fishes that is known to be a delicacy.
The American was really impressed and ask the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"
The fisherman reply; "Oh, just a short while."
"Then why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more? The businessman was astonished.
The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family?" he says.
The businessman then asked: "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"
The fisherman reply; "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink, we played guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day was ever so complete and carefree."
The businessman does not agree with his way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have save enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors.At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico city, and then expand your operation to LA, and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."
The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take? "
The businessman reply: "About 15 to 20 years"
The fisherman continued, "And after that?"
The businessman laugh heartily, "After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, by then you will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!!"
The fisherman ask, "And after that?"
The businessman says "After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes, then return home to play with the kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!! "
The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now??"
So, what does one really hope to achieve in life, do we really need to work so hard in life ? What do you hope to accomplish in the end ?
6 reasons not to mess with children
1.A little girl : was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl : replied, "Then you ask him".
2.A Kindergarten teacher : was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like. Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
3.A Sunday school teacher : was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy : (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4.One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5.The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
6.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching"
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small
The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl : replied, "Then you ask him".
2.A Kindergarten teacher : was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like. Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
3.A Sunday school teacher : was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy : (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
4.One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5.The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
6.The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching"
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too
I 've sent you an ANGEL......
Heaven has sent you an Angel., You may keep her.....
Heaven didn't want her, so they sent her to me.
I don't want her so, I'm sending her to you !
Pleeeeeeease 'Keep Her'
Do the world a favour. Don't pass her on
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)